Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Everything I Ever Wanted to Say on Facebook, but Couldn't

Well, maybe not everything, but here's a sampling...

(note: These are all Status Updates, unless marked with a C; C=comment I would make after posting previous SU.)

Warning: Not All of this will be Pretty... and Not All of this will be True!

Robin is dreading going back to work.
C: Teaching?! What was I thinking?!!

Robin hates waking up early.
C: Teaching?! What was I thinking?!!

Robin needs to go to the bathroom.

Robin thinks it's idiotic to tell people every little thing your kid does in your FB status.
C: A la "my little sweetie said the funniest joke today..." and then proceed to repeat it. Not so much.

Robin wants you to unfriend her if you must bash Obama in your FB status.

Robin wishes she could "hide" friends from her FB feed on her iPhone the way she can on her laptop.
C: I really don't want to read what a lot of you have to say!

Robin doesn't understand the whole wishing "Happy Birthday" to your child on FB status update.
C: Are they on FB too? Can they even read?!

Robin is lazy and unmotivated.

Robin is working out like a madwoman!
C: Haven't lost a dang pound due to all the ice-cream and alcohol I've consumed this summer, but I haven't gained either, so it's all good:)

Robin Three days til we leave for our trip... anxiety setting in. I hate packing. I hate packing. I hate packing.

Robin has her period.
C: So say something nice, dammit!

Robin got laid.
C: The other party is obvious, folks...

Robin will try not to put cryptic messages as status updates.

Robin has nothing to eat.
C: Chocolate chips and wine do not a dinner make.

Robin has a fucking headache.

Robin is drinking (again).

Robin loves Dora the Explorer.
C: But not that bastard, Backpack.

Robin wants to be the whitest person at the end of summer.

Robin They don't make an SPF strong enough for me!!

Robin thinks a good tan is a sign of stupidity.
C: Sorry if I've offended anyone. But, seriously, ozone layer, people! Ozone layer.

Robin is going out with her REAL friends for a beer.
C: I don't really drink beer, but I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Or if you felt bad because you weren't invited...

Robin is bored with Facebook. Doesn't anyone have anything funny to say?!

Robin needs to get off the computer and pay attention to the little people in her midst.

Feel free to add your own in the comments (using your own name, of course!).


  1. I would LOVE to see my former student' faces s if I posted a "just got laid" status update on FB!

  2. PS this is not as good as my original comment, which got lost somewhere.