Shit! I forgot to do "Six Days". I was in the bath last night, after having a nice glass (or two) of wine, mentally composing my blog post. And then I got out, got distracted, turned off the computer (OF ALL THINGS!), so I never wrote it. Oh, well... See, that is just another fine example of what happens as you turn 40. Mental defectiveness sets in.
So, yesterday, before the brain freeze, I looked for, found and read an old journal of mine. You know what a journal is, don't you? It's the kind of thing one wrote before computers were "all the rage". I looked for the journal, because I couldn't remember any full names (first and last) of people I met in Madrid when I lived there. I thought it would be fun to look them up on Facebook, so I dragged out and read the journal (skimmed it, really).
Let's just say, after reading that journal, that there is A REASON WHY I HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL THOSE PEOPLE! HOW EMBARRASSING (FOR ME)! I really must burn this journal for fear that my husband or children might one day read it and find out (choose one):
a) I exhibited some slutty behaviour back then.
b) I was a wee bit desperate
c) I may have had a weight problem (over, not under)
d) I drank and smoked too too much
e) All of the above
Damn, WHO WAS I?! I was more sure of myself in High School than I was in college and the aftermath (3 years in Madrid). That?! Is some crazy shit. Really.
Well, now at 40, I can see that I still have some weaknesses, but they are not as problematic for me as my past weaknesses were.
a) If I want to be slutty, that's ok, as long as it's with Drew.
b) I am no longer desperate, but I tend to dissolve a friendship quickly, if I think there is an unequal interest in maintaining said friendship. I wish I knew the saying, "He's just not that into you." back then. I could have used it!
c) Now, I'm happy with my body, but I always want to lose a few pounds (especially after eating a lot of sweets for an extended period of time).
d) I don't smoke anything any more, and haven't in a long time. Not sure my lungs could handle it at this point anyway. I DO drink a little more than I probably should, but who doesn't?!
e) All of the above and DAMN PROUD!
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Old journals are fantastic as reminders of why you don't do some things today.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say "wha happen to six days!?"... well six is unlucky so you're better off skipping it.
ReplyDeleteOur 20's are for being incredibly reckless and unhealthy, that way in our 30's (40's to you) we can be anal about safety and bake chick-pea brownies with no regret. Well YOU can bake chick-pea brownies.