Shit! I forgot to do "Six Days". I was in the bath last night, after having a nice glass (or two) of wine, mentally composing my blog post. And then I got out, got distracted, turned off the computer (OF ALL THINGS!), so I never wrote it. Oh, well... See, that is just another fine example of what happens as you turn 40. Mental defectiveness sets in.
So, yesterday, before the brain freeze, I looked for, found and read an old journal of mine. You know what a journal is, don't you? It's the kind of thing one wrote before computers were "all the rage". I looked for the journal, because I couldn't remember any full names (first and last) of people I met in Madrid when I lived there. I thought it would be fun to look them up on Facebook, so I dragged out and read the journal (skimmed it, really).
Let's just say, after reading that journal, that there is A REASON WHY I HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL THOSE PEOPLE! HOW EMBARRASSING (FOR ME)! I really must burn this journal for fear that my husband or children might one day read it and find out (choose one):
a) I exhibited some slutty behaviour back then.
b) I was a wee bit desperate
c) I may have had a weight problem (over, not under)
d) I drank and smoked too too much
e) All of the above
Damn, WHO WAS I?! I was more sure of myself in High School than I was in college and the aftermath (3 years in Madrid). That?! Is some crazy shit. Really.
Well, now at 40, I can see that I still have some weaknesses, but they are not as problematic for me as my past weaknesses were.
a) If I want to be slutty, that's ok, as long as it's with Drew.
b) I am no longer desperate, but I tend to dissolve a friendship quickly, if I think there is an unequal interest in maintaining said friendship. I wish I knew the saying, "He's just not that into you." back then. I could have used it!
c) Now, I'm happy with my body, but I always want to lose a few pounds (especially after eating a lot of sweets for an extended period of time).
d) I don't smoke anything any more, and haven't in a long time. Not sure my lungs could handle it at this point anyway. I DO drink a little more than I probably should, but who doesn't?!
e) All of the above and DAMN PROUD!