Friday, May 29, 2009

My Family is Crazier than Your Family

I know. I know. It's been a LONG time. And it's not that I've had nothing to say. I'm just coming to the end of my reign of unemployment, and I've been trying to maximize the time I've got left. I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss THEM. Being a SAHM isn't always a picnic, but I've had a GOOD run, and I wish I could be with them longer, especially the Lil' Rascal, because she's only going to be two. Just a couple more years would be perfect.

But this post isn't about that. And believe me, I have enough job issues and Mommy Guilt for many a post to come. No, this post is for exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I mean, I shut down a whole blog because of all the venom I was spewing. But sometimes, just sometimes, a family trip can bring stuff up (and I don't mean the vomit in my mouth!).

So, the following is a list of hours of therapy it will take to repair the damage done by some of my family:

Mom's incessant need to answer both her cell and home phone, no matter what activity she's in the middle of doing? Half an hour

Tolerating her husband's sporadic outbursts of stupidity and/or verbal abuse? Three hours

Having to listen to my SIL's verbal diarrhea, which includes, but is not limited to: overuse of the word "wonderful", overpraising her children, AND telling her children they excel at whatever my girls were being praised for (us: good job eating your dinner, Diva. Her: "Oh, honey you're such a wonderful eater, too. Everything you do is so wonderful..." Seriously?!!)? Five hours

Watching my father virtually ignore the most precious creatures to ever enter into his life in order to (again, this list includes, but is not limited to...) look at Susan Boyle on YouTube, talk to his local family members who he sees all the time, show people his latest paintings (I get it, but still...), and OBVIOUSLY, take pictures of these precious commodities instead of interacting with them? Six hours

Hearing that my brother got upset with my father because he donates money to the foundation honoring his dead wife, saying that he should instead give the money to his children's college funds, because said dead wife abused him?!!

Priceless

4 comments:

  1. nice concise synopsis of the family visit. but abuse??? revisionist history I assume? perhaps assisted by the SIL?

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  2. Yikes. That's why I keep my family visits to a minimum. Glad to hear that you survived!

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  3. Wow.

    That's probably why I haven't been WV to visit my side of the family in, oh, three years.

    Sorry, hon.

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